Good Morning Holy Spirit! Let your presence fill this place as you grace me with your sweetness.


Only one thing is profitable and that my friend is sitting at the feet of Jesus. He brings so much life to you and he refocuses your eyes on things that are important.

My heart is stirred to know you better.

Keep yourself still and know me as God. Settle your thoughts, your desires, and your fears for the future.

Think about my character, my unchangeable goodness. You keep me in perfect peace because my thoughts are stayed on you. At this moment, at this time there is no doubt only complete trust.

I Peter 5:5-10

Vs5

Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

To clothe yourself speaks of action. I think it is a decision to walk in humility, of course with the Holy Spirit’s help. The very thought of God opposing me is frightening. Think about that for a moment. That puts a little fear of the LORD into being proud or it should anyway. I like the part where it says He gives grace to the humble. Grace here is defined as being an empowerment from the Holy Spirit to meet this evil tendency (pride) and all others fully.

Vs 6

Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you

This is what we are to do. We are to be meek and unassuming thinking more highly of others than we do of ourselves. This is not being unhealthy and it is not having low self-esteem. It is walking in gentleness and meekness the way Jesus did. He is our great example of humility. He walked in perfect love towards people even though he was God in the flesh.

He will exalt or lift us up in due season. What does that look like? I think it is working things out for us in every situation; causing all things to work together for good. Also, it feels good to honor one another, showing respect and gratitude.

Vs7

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you

I can hear the Father saying, “Child, throw it to me. It’s much too heavy for you to bear.”

You were not equipped to carry this load of anxiety, worry and cares. Our Father cares for us! I was thinking today about the crazy love we have for our new granddaughters. It’s very similar to the love we feel for our own children. I guess I never thought I could love so deeply. Recently as I was pondering my relationship with God, He broke into my thoughts. “I love you more than what you feel for your children and grandchildren. I know you perfectly inside and out. I want to meet you early and just spend time with you the same way you did with them.”

WOW! Doesn’t it feel really good when you know you are held in special esteem by someone?

He cares! What a great Father we have.

Vs 8

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

We are told by Peter in this passage of scripture to be self-controlled and alert. This says to me to not let my guard down.

Be conscious of your actions, staying completely submitted to God.

What makes our minds fuzzy and confused?

Different things to each of us, I am sure.

For me it is:

• Watching too much television.
• Spending too much time in soulish conversation.
• Computer time

I think anything that preoccupies our time and our thinking can cause our minds to become spiritually dull.

Balance is the key word here as well as moderation.

You do not want to be taken off guard. For me it manifests in impatience with my husband. Also doubt, fear, and unbelief are big ones that I have to guard against.

Why are we admonished to be self-controlled and alert?

We absolutely do not want the enemy to get a foothold into our thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

We are warned over and over in scripture to guard our hearts and our eyes.

Vs 9

Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

We have been given amazing and effective tools to defeat the enemy:

• Holy Spirit living inside of us
• Powerful Name of JESUS
• Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God
• Grace which is an enabling power from the Holy Spirit

We are not alone in our battles! We are part of the beautiful Body of Christ! We are living in the Kingdom of God with great Kingdom benefits!

Vs 10

And the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself establish, strengthen, settle and perfect you.

He has all the grace, as much as we need, when we need it.

Start asking him for it when you are struggling with attitudes or when you are tempted.

Grace is real and tangible! I can literally feel its power covering me when I need it. It is peaceful and has a sense of well being. It is being covered with a blanket of strength in the midst of chaos and stress.

The 10th verse goes on to say we are called to his eternal glory in Christ.

What on earth does that mean?

We are called to experience Christ’s power and goodness forever. We are partaking of this heavenly goodness now and forever.

That even though we suffer through various trials and afflictions we are called to greatness in Christ!

Jesus Himself will:

• Establish us
• Strengthen us
• Settle us
• Perfect us

Beginning now and continuing forever and ever!

I have incredible hope for my future and for yours!

An excerpt from my journal and a quiet time with the LORD:

My desire, my great hope is for you to need me desperately. I want interaction with you. My heart is stirred within me when I hear you say, “Father I need you!” “I can’t do this on my own!”

II Chronicles 20:12, 15, 17
O our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you. He said: Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions, stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.

Our position is abiding in Jesus, and entering the rest of God!

There is an authority that Christ has given to us as believers a few examples of this is:

Matthew 16:19
I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

John 20:23
If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.

Luke 9:1
When Jesus had called the twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.

Christ said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, Go and make disciples of all nations.”

I believe the church has become too independent of Christ. Yes, I strongly believe in knowing who we are in Christ. In fact my husband and I are teaching a Bible study on this very topic. It is necessary for the converted believer to renew their minds and become transformed in their thinking. This brings us great stability and balance to our lives. But, even as I was pondering these truths I looked up the great commission and found that I was misquoting it. I was thinking, all authority was given to me meaning the church. In truth Jesus was saying, “All authority in heaven and on earth was given to me, now go and make disciples of all nations.”

John 17:20-22
My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one.

We also walk in this shared authority because we are one with the Father and with Jesus. Keep in mind it is shared, not autonomous.

There are times when we are definitely called to intercessory prayer. I had a few days this week where I needed to pray in the Spirit and also was praying the word of God out loud. It was a battle coming against my mind. I am usually very stable in my thoughts, but beginning on Sunday my mind was racing with thoughts. Suspicion, doubt and fear were coming against me furiously. I began praying against it in the authority that I share with Jesus. I then had a good friend and my husband pray for me. Sometimes, I can battle and see results this time I needed help.

There are also times when we are to stand in what we know to be true, and let the LORD battle for us. This is entering the rest of the LORD.

Exodus 14:14
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still
Oh my goodness! How many of us can receive this word from the LORD?
This truly requires an incredible amount of trust. You need to know and become very familiar with the LORD. When you really know his character you are able to rest and let him take care of you.

II Chronicles 32:8
With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God to help us fight our battles. And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the King of Judah said.

Let me say this again. Our position is abiding in Jesus and entering the rest of God!

In the past three years I have had two very difficult jobs. I was persecuted terribly by co-workers to the point where I heard the LORD say, “Enough” The situations had to do with gross injustices in the work place. The first job the LORD suddenly removed me from it, and the second job He removed the person who was causing the hostile work environment. She had been with the company for eight years, but was removed because she was so hostile towards me. Amazing, how we do not have to battle in the natural. God is a mighty warrior.

Isaiah 30:15-18
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ Therefore you will flee! You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses,’ Therefore your pursuers will be swift! A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you will all flee away, till you are left like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill.” Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!


Psalm 147:10-11
His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; The LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Let us repent this day of being independent of the LORD. We cannot live in this world without abiding in Him! Let us repent of our spiritual arrogance. Apart from Christ I can do nothing!

Let us enter the rest of the LORD…ceasing from our own labors and being co-laborers with Him!

On November 7th in my quiet time, I heard the Spirit of the LORD say to me:

I have gifts for you today!

· Gift of discernment stronger than you have ever had
· Gift of wisdom so that you will have specific insights into what people have need of
· Gift of love, the ability to love without conditions attached….a perfect love

Discernment comes by the Spirit of the LORD. It usually is a strong impression about someone, something or a geographical area that will not be shaken. It is not a fleeting thought or observation. Impression is defined as what stays in somebody’s mind. Impression is a lasting effect, opinion, or mental image of somebody of something. I think the key word in that definition is stays; it is not a random thought that is quickly forgotten. What comes next is a question, “Holy Spirit what is this”? “What do you want me to do with this information you have given to me”? I have learned recently that it can come through our five senses. I have known discernment through the Holy Spirit opening my eyes to see and opening my ears to hear, but it wasn’t until recently that I have had my sense of smell opened to discern the Presence of the LORD and the presence of an evil spirit.

Last year I experienced this in a very powerful way. I was having a quiet time with the LORD when I began to see a moving picture, a vision. I was fully awake and experiencing a very intimate time with Jesus. I saw him in His priestly robes of the purest white with a velveteen rope sashed around his waist. I then saw myself as a small child running to him. I ran right into him grabbing handfuls of this beautiful robe and pressing my little face into the fabric. It had such an amazing smell of incense. I said out loud in my living room, “It smells of cassia”! This I researched later was the oil Moses was instructed by God to use to anoint Aaron as High Priest. What a beautiful picture God gave to me of my High Priest!

This was a connection to the spirit realm that had I not been discerning could have alarmed me. The Spirit of the LORD gave me discernment during the beginning of this vision and I knew it was good, holy, and precious. Why was it given to me? To increase my faith mostly is why it was given. It also increased my desires and love for Jesus. There is always purpose in discerning something. The Holy Spirit’s job is to give me a strong impression in some way, our response is to say “what do you want me to do with this”?

Discernment is given always for us to pray. Hands down that is its main purpose.

Recently I experienced the other side of discerning an evil presence through my sense of smell.

I was in a public place checking out at the register and I began smelling a very foul odor. There was the lady at the register and myself. I knew it was not coming from me, and the lady did not appear to be sick or in distress. Never the less it was coming from her. I discerned an unclean spirit. There is a difference between familiar common odors and spirits that give off offensive odors. What was I to do with this information? Pray for her once I get to a private area such as my car, always asking Holy Spirit what was that? If you are bold enough which I confess I am not, you could quietly ask if you can pray for her. I personally think it wasn’t the time or the place for such as that. I will say that I am being trained in this by the Holy Spirit. I am certainly not comfortable or perfected in this gifting. I am a student and am learning how to use this gift properly.

Several months after that encounter I did have another one. I was in church and began smelling a similar offensive odor. It was extremely pungent so I put my face down into the fabric of my sleeve to breathe fresh air. I began asking God again, “What is this”. He immediately said an unclean spirit. I knew the smell was coming from someone behind me. I did not know the person, but had shaken hands with him prior to the service. Also, no one else seemed to smell it. My husband was sitting beside me and did not smell anything. That is definitely a sign that it is discernment of spirits. If it is a natural odor other people would smell it as well.

So, again I am learning what to do with this gift. I did not step out and pray for him. He did go to the altar during the invitation and was prayed for. I have continued to pray for him also. In the future when this happens I will ask more specifically whether I should approach and pray for them. This brings me to the next gift which is so tied to discernment and that is wisdom.

Wisdom is a gift of the Spirit available like discernment for those who seek after it. It is the very gift I seek after the most as of late. When I say that I mean I seek earnestly after Jesus, because He has become for me wisdom.

I Corinthians 1:30
It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God-that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption.

I desire the gift of wisdom because I know it will be an instrument in my life to liberate many people from the bondage that they are in. I know if I had been walking in the fear of the LORD which is the beginning of wisdom I would not have bruised myself so in my pre Christian days.

Wisdom says:

I am pure, then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. My fruit is better than fine gold; what I yield surpasses choice silver. For through me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you.

We are in such need of wisdom in the body of Christ! As we walk in a hostile world we need to be led by Wisdom’s cry. The voice of Wisdom brings us peace and clear guidance. A sure foothold is wisdom’s path. A peg fastened in a sure place is the fruit of wisdom.

Discernment mixed with wisdom is freedom! It’s all of the above! Discernment without wisdom is laying a wound wide open and then not knowing how to suture it. You must seek wisdom’s leading as you minister to the body of Christ. Jesus has become for me wisdom. Everything that I need is encompassed in Him. How do we receive this wisdom? Ask!

Love, love, love, there is nothing better! God is love. Simply and profoundly He is complete and perfect love. I have been a student of the word for about 29 years, and it has been my earnest prayer to be perfected in love. I have probably prayed that prayer more than I have prayed for my husband, which is saying a lot! One of my passions is to rescue the broken and show them the Father’s unconditional love! The only way that I can successfully do this is to be perfected wholly in love. When I didn’t know there was a kingdom of love, I sought after love from people who were as broken and deficient in love as me to no avail. I was trying to fill a place inside my soul that only God could ever satisfy. So, when I met a beautiful man of God and he shared the good news of the Kingdom with me I finally found the love I so needed! From that moment forward I sought God and His Kingdom with all my heart.

Luke 7:47
Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven- for she loved much, but he who has been forgiven little loves little.

Maybe that is why I have taken hold of Jesus with all my strength, because I have never experienced a love as pure and true as with him! The more we seek after Him the more we become like Him. I am taking on his nature of pure love. I have my Heavenly Father’s DNA. I think the thoughts of Jesus because I spend time listening to Him. He then shares what He hears from the Father with me.

I Corinthians 2:9-10
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him, but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

Having said all of that in regards to love, I want to tie it all together with the gift of discernment and wisdom.

It all flows so beautifully together!

We can not successfully bring Jesus to people without it being done completely in love. There cannot be any other motivating factors otherwise it will cause more hurt and pain to these precious people. When Holy Spirit gives discernment about a particular issue in a person it is for healing, deliverance, comfort, restoration, or exhortation. We then as ministers of this love need to ask Holy Spirit for complete wisdom on how to proceed in praying for this person. If I did this apart from doing it in love I am amiss, and will injure instead of bringing life.

Love covers over a multitude of sin, love also remembers no wrong, love lays its life down, love always protects, love always trusts, love always hopes, love perseveres, and love never fails!

So, go forth and bless the people of God with your gifts. They need a touch from Jesus, and you are His connection to them.

I John 4:19
We love because he first loved us.

What brings the deepest satisfaction to a man or woman?

To know that they are loved in return.

It is one thing to love, and to give love, but to have that love returned brings great contentment. We share great joy with the newly engaged couple that is bursting forth with shared love. It is time to celebrate! The bride exclaims, “I have found the one who loves me in return!” The groom proclaims, “I have found the one who has deemed me honorable and trustworthy. She has chosen me above all other men, and her love is singularly towards me!”

I am reminded of a child’s game. You send a note to the one you like the best. They are to check the appropriate box, Yes or No. Do you like me in return? We are so programmed to love and to be loved. Our Heavenly Father made us in His image and He exudes LOVE.

I had a dream last week of a very handsome couple with two children. They had come to me for help concerning their marriage. She was sullen and withdrawn. He was concerned, and inquisitive as to why she was not responding to him as she once had. The children seemed to be on the peripheral of it all. They were not really apart of what was going on, sort of on autopilot. The husband had loved and she had loved in return in the beginning, but this had waned over the course of seven years of marriage and two children. He still loved her but his efforts were not what they were as during their courtship. He didn’t woo her anymore.

There is a remedy for this problem that sometimes arises in marriage. It is found within the guidelines of scripture.

Ephesians 4:22-33
Wives submit to your husbands as to the LORD. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his on body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church- for we are members of his body. For this reason a man, will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

A woman and a man will respond with a reckless abandoned love when truly one is loved and loved in return. It is a safe place within the marriage covenant and the marriage bed is undefiled. Your children also recognize and feel the security and sense the peace that comes from this beautiful union between their parents.


Nate and I had been married about seven years when I began thinking about this passage of scripture. I remember being naïve concerning the power in this passage. I was thinking why is it that the woman has to submit and the husband has so little to do? I will never forget saying this to my sister-in-law Becky. She gently set my thinking straight. She said, oh Jan, the husband has a great deal more of the responsibility. He is to love as Christ loves us. Laying his life down for his bride as Christ did for his beloved church. It became an understood word to me. It had become a rhema word or revealed word. When the husband freely gives of himself to his wife she openly gives herself in return. He does not lord over her in a demanding way. On the contrary he serves her. The wives response is to give in submission as to the LORD. It is a beautiful mystery, a beautiful symphony of giving and receiving. I said this statement recently about my husband.” I know that he would literally lay his life down for me.” There is no question of his covering me with his love.

What does this holy union do for me? It washes me clean, makes me holy, and presents me radiant, without stain or blemish. How many times do we make the statement about the newly married bride, She is radiant! That is because she is! It is a beautiful mystery of the holy union between a man and a woman.

Submission brings beauty to the woman of God.
I Peter 3:5-6
For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham, following his guidance and acknowledging his leadership over her by calling him lord, master, leader, and authority.
In conclusion to the dream, I remember dancing a waltz with the handsome gentleman. I shared the wisdom of love for his marriage and it gave him great hope. He kissed either side of my cheeks and I embraced his beautiful bride of seven years and kissed her cheeks. They left as a family reunited with hope for their future. They would follow the way of wisdom and His perfect love.

In the dream, I remember seeing a large sketchpad with a breathtaking portrait of a bride adorned for her husband, but with splotches on her gown. This I believe is a depiction of humanity. Desiring relationship and so desperate to be loved in return, but settling for less.

(Post Script: Tomorrow 10-14-09 Nate and I will have been married 31 years.)

Hosea 6:6-7
For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings, like Adam they have broken covenant- they were unfaithful to me there.






We were created for noble purposes. Foremost, to love and serve an incredible faithful God! We were not made in the image of this God to be less than powerfully creative and full of His love. I am convinced that our potential is beyond our human thinking, but that’s just it! We need to be thinking and acting upon the thoughts of God! I believe we are seated positionally in Heavenly places. Christ bought this position for us on the cross. Lets begin walking in our greatest potential possible here on earth.

The conflict arises as we walk here on earth. We are in a human body but we house a supernatural God, who is continually at work in us. People who do not acknowledge our God surround us everyday of our lives. Unholy media everywhere bombards us. Hence, the conflict I spoke of in the beginning of this paragraph. A supernatural, holy God housed in a human body living on earth. Wow!

How do we stay faithful to God? God was telling them how through the prophet, but
I wonder if the children of Israel ever really listened to his Father’s heart. They certainly were having issues with being faithful. I would like to look at some of the dialogue out of Hosea. It is so apropos for this generation.

Hosea 4:1 Hear the word of the LORD, you Israelites, because the LORD has a charge against you who live in the land; there is no faithfulness, no love, no acknowledgement of God in the land.

Hosea continues with the account of the Israelites wrong doings, their unfaithful deeds. He then says in verse 6 that my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. Now lets keep in mind that this is Father God speaking his heart through the prophet Hosea. Do you hear the Father’s concern for as He puts it “my people”.

There is much more dialogue of God’s rejection of the priests and the judgments against Israel. I believe that even through these judgments God was acting in love. He cannot go against His nature. He is love. Comparatively we discipline our children for their good and well-being, God had to bring a stop to the chaos that was going on in that day. A spirit of prostitution was leading them astray; they were unfaithful to their God. A people without understanding will come to ruin and God loved them and us too much to allow this to continue.

When you continue to read on in Hosea you will see again and again the Father’s heart of love. He is so relational that He calls us over and over to come back to our first love. This love is beautiful, holy, perfect and fulfills us completely. We were not created to prostitute ourselves and carry the shame of unfaithfulness!


Hosea 6:1-3
Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; He has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us that we may live in his presence.
Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.

His plea to unfaithful man is simply to return to Him. He will then bind up our wounds that we received through joining ourselves with the enemy. You see the enemy of our souls leads us astray. The enemy lures us into situations, habits, and relationships that appear harmless on the surface. This could be a slightly unethical business deal or just spending too much time on the computer. Anything that distracts, preoccupies you and takes away your interests in the lover of your soul has the potential to become spiritual adultery. We are left feeling empty and discontent. Our Father who created us in His image knows exactly how to restore us and bind up our wounds.

God loves us so much and this book (Hosea) beautifully portrays His heart for us. He speaks of fathering Israel and Ephraim. He says that He took Ephraim by the arms and taught them to walk. He says I healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love. I lifted the yoke from their necks and bent down to feed them.

Hosea 11:8
How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over Israel? My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused.

He is faithful Father! He will not give up on his children!

In the beginning of this dissertation I wrote that Israel had broken covenant like Adam. I say not just Israel, but mankind has broken covenant with God. We were in need of a mediator who would go before God and plead our case. This came through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. This brought us into fellowship once again with God and into a new and better covenant.

Hebrews 9:15
For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance- now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.

So, the invitation is the same under the old or new covenant.
Return to the LORD!

James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness neither shadow of turning.



LOVE is the greatest gift!

It cannot be extinguished when once given by the Father of lights. He gives perfect gifts. The love of the Father once experienced cannot be satisfied from any other source fully. His love is complete. It is completely good! It fills every crevice of your heart and soul. It leaves you feeling very satisfied, but also desiring more of His encounters.

In my humanity I do my best to love my husband, children, grandchildren, parents and friends, but I guarantee you I fall short. Why? My love is imperfect apart from Christ mingling his love with mine.

I struggle to love unconditionally. I believe knowing how to love is a learned behavior. Our parents modeled for us how to give and receive love. This may have been a good model or a poor one. Unfortunately we cannot choose who parents us. This is where problems arise especially in a marriage relationship. One person may come from a very loving and giving home whereas the other one may have been raised with little or no outward affection. I am not a psychologist, but I can sure see where that would cause issues.

When we come into the Kingdom of Love, we have a new model to follow. It is a perfect one. We learn how to love by reading about Jesus’ relationship with his Father. We also observe his interaction with his disciples and with sinners as a guide. He always operated from the position of complete and perfect love.

When we were children we modeled our parents love. Now as children of God we model our Father’s and our Savior’s love. So, how do we do this? Simply stated, we practice what we see happening in the word of God. Also, we have the Holy Spirit living in us giving us divine help. We are not alone.

John 16:7
Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send him to you.

John 16:13
However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth, for He will not speak on His own (authority) but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.

Jesus does not leave us alone with only his good example to follow. We have the very spirit of Jesus living inside of us. So, how do we utilize this power of the Holy Spirit?
I believe the very first step is to completely surrender to Him. We do this upon our conversion, but it is an ongoing process.

Lets look at these examples. I might say:

“I cannot do this on my own anymore, I need your help Holy Spirit. I surrender my will to your beautiful plan for me.”

“I cannot love my co-worker because she is constantly nit-picking and badgering me. I surrender this to you and ask for your divine intervention.”

“I cannot love my husband because he is constantly doubting me and questioning my ability to run our household. I surrender my bad feelings towards him, and I ask Holy Spirit for you to give me your heart for my husband.”

We need the Father’s way of loving people. The Father’s love is perfect and His love strengthens those who encounter it. This love is never fake or dishonest. It is true, right, and always good. It will change you as you surrender your will to His. My prayer for many years has been to be perfected in His love. I ask for this, because I am so deficient in perfect love. There is an amazing thing that happens as we begin to surrender, and also as we pray for that person we are struggling to love. Father begins to show us this person through His eyes of complete and perfect love. It changes your heart. Father may give you insight into why this person is so hard to love. When you experience this kind of encounter you go away a little more perfected in His love.

This is such a beautiful process of exchanging our humanity with his divine nature!

I said earlier that it is not a fake expression of love. Why? Because we have been supernaturally touched and our heart is made more tender towards the one who has offended us. Something truly has changed and we know it deep inside. If only the whole world could love this way, how different things would be. The love of the Father satisfies us deep within. As we are continually filled with his love our strivings cease. I am no longer demanding selfishly. I no longer desire things that I cannot have.

The bible makes a clear distinction between the acts of the flesh and the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:19-21
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.

Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control

I would very much prefer the fruit of the Spirit operating in and through me. This is not a pie in the sky doctrine or dream. This can be your life surrendered to Jesus. He wants to meet you and fill you completely with His love!

Romans 5:5
The Love of God has been shed abroad in my heart.

This gives me an inner strength. I am filled to overflowing with your immeasurable love and power to finish all that has been ordained for me to do. I walk in incredible peace and assurance because of who I am in Christ. This assurance comes through love and grace. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It’s His strength that compels me to greatness. I have pondered over the years, and remain somewhat perplexed over the mystery of Christ’s strength being perfected in me despite my humanness. Yes, it is the Holy Spirit inside of me giving me that nudge to push on a little more. He does not let me stay in my frailty of mind for long. He says to me, “You can do better than this” “Don’t you want more”? He compels me to greatness. I am being perfected day by day. I haven’t attained perfection, but it’s the greatness of God inside of me that will not let me settle for just “ok”. I am so glad of that! We are made in the image of GOD! Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are all part of who I am. Wow! That would explain the insatiable desire to be someone, to make my mark in this life, to leave a legacy of the greatness of God in all that I do.

There will be amazing adventures in our lives and we will truly shine. We will see people touched by the power of God through repentance and a glorious salvation. We will see people miraculously healed and restored to life through the power of the Holy Spirit. I love this kind of display of the Kingdom of God! This power and potential is in every child of God whether it’s actively at work or not.

There are the mundane acts of life that make up the majority of our time here on earth. I believe we are to shine in these as well.

I remember the twenty-five years of raising our beautiful children. The innumerable meals that were planned and prepared, and the endless piles of laundry! There were always many tasks to do in a day. I also recall having children in all three levels of school at the same time. So much fun! I am not being sarcastic when I say that. It was a delight to serve them! That was great kingdom stuff! How fast those days came and went. I could have never successfully managed a household, loved my husband unconditionally and trained and modeled Christ’s love apart from the strength that only comes through the grace of God.

Our perfectly good, loving heavenly Father equips us with everything we need for this great life. He does not require of us what we do not have, but empowers us with his grace to do the extraordinary and mundane things of life. He is faithful Father in all areas of our lives.
There are some things you just can’t explain. I think grace is one of those mysteries. I can’t explain to you how it works, but I know from experience that it is so real!

The Little Jesus in the Tabernacle is the vivid picture I had of my Savior when I was a child.










I was raised in a Catholic family who were very dedicated to their beliefs. It was not just a religion to them; it was their strong beliefs in a true God. This was passed on to me at a very early age, and I will forever be thankful to my parents for this upbringing. We were always in church on Sundays, no excuses unless of course we were sick. I also attended parochial school and had the added benefits of mass on Fridays.

I loved the quiet, peaceful times in our beautiful sanctuary. We would enter very quietly, there was not any talking being done unless in a very low tone. This was a place of holiness and worship and we knew it very early on in our lives. This brought great comfort and peace to me as a child. I remember it so vividly and even today it floods me with a sense of all is well. There was a holiness that emanated from the sanctuary and also the grounds of the church. This was the beginning of an amazing truth; it’s called the fear of the LORD. I would say that this is probably the one priceless lesson you can learn and teach your own children.

Proverbs 1:7-9
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck.

Somehow I knew this truth at a very early age. I was a compliant child who desired to please all who were in authority over me. This included wanting to please this God that I sensed in that holy place of his sanctuary. I just didn’t know how to get to him. He was there but somehow out of my reach. I was drawn to this incense saturated peaceful place, because it brought solace to me. My spirit was being drawn by a gracious; sweet Father who loved me before I ever knew how to love him back.

There was a portion of the mass that intrigued me so. The priest would walk over to the tabernacle to retrieve the communion elements. The tabernacle is an ornate cabinet that held the communion wafers and the chalice of wine. The priest is the only one who goes into this holy tabernacle. This was definitely a mystery to my young mind and imagination

I vividly imagined a little Jesus sitting inside of this tabernacle. He looked frail and all alone. Sitting with his back to the Tabernacle with his legs drawn up to his chest. I knew He wanted so badly to interact with someone. My child’s heart ached to catch a glimpse of this little Jesus and to talk to him.

Revelation 21:3
And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them


This little Jesus has chosen to tabernacle with me!

Many years later I learned how to talk to Jesus directly. It was an amazing revelation to me that brought much freedom and joy! This was the genesis of my getting to know Jesus personally. It took many years for that little child to accept the grace of God. Now I walk in this amazing grace and feel completely accepted in the Beloved. This little Jesus has chosen to tabernacle with me! He wants to abide and make his home inside of me. I appreciate my Catholic heritage. It will always hold a precious place in my heart, because it was the foundation of all I believe today.

I know that this little Jesus was at work in my childhood imaginations drawing me to him!

Acts 27:25
So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me.


Praying, Petitioning, and Intercession:
Last week was filled with all three of these! You pray, petition, and intercede when you need a situation changed. It is not those times of status quo, when your life is going along without hindrance. It is when you are desperate for breakthrough! There will be times in your lives where intense prayer is warranted.

Praying is talking to God plain and simply. I do this on a daily basis; it is a privilege of the child of God to have this resource. For me it is an on going conversation, including him in my everyday activities. I want to know what he thinks of the many things that I am doing. It is what the Apostle Paul referred to as “praying without ceasing” This is completely relational. Talking to God.

Petitioning, Yes, I do this often! We petition for all kinds of things. There are always pressing issues, for instance provisions of all kinds, employment needs, healing, relational issues, etc. I am certain we could all come up with at least ten items to petition the Father about right now. This again is a great privilege of the child of God. I am reminded in Philippians to put away anxiety and to bring all our prayers and petitions with thanksgiving before God.

Intercession is quite different. It is a passionate cry to God on behalf of someone else.
There typically is a sense of urgency in this prayer. It is deep crying unto deep; a fervent cry for divine intervention.

Romans 8:26-27
In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.

We can’t mess this one up. We are interceding and the very Spirit of God is interceding on our behalf in agreement with the will of God! What a perfect prayer!

There is what we older saints call having a burden. You feel a particular situation is pressing in on you. It’s not an oppressive feeling, but a strong call to pray. Soon after I was born again we began attending a very small Four Square church in Tucumcari New Mexico. The older ladies in the church could really pray. I went to a couple of these prayer meetings. I was so young and having been raised Catholic, I was very eager to learn how to pray.

They had a term praying through. They would pray until the release came, or the burden lifted. This didn’t mean the situation was resolved in the natural, but they were certain they had resolved it in the spiritual realm.
I have definitely experienced this in intercession. I know when I breakthrough in intercession because a release happens and you know something profound is going to happen in regards to what you just prayed.
God gives the assurance it is done!

So, what do you do now?
You rest knowing it is done. I call it “the knowing” It is a supernatural place of peace and complete trust. That is such an amazing feeling. The one thing I can compare it to is being in intense physical pain and then being given a drug that completely nullifies your pain. It is euphoric and intensely gratifying to know that you have gone to bat for someone and have pressed through.

Matthew 11:28-30
Jesus said, “ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”


It is very simple:
We talk to God about our lives and the people in our lives.
We ask for specific things.
We at times become very burdened for someone, something, a people group, an injustice in the world etc.
We selflessly pray until we feel God’s presence and his peace.
We enter the rest of God, which is complete trust and faith that God says, “It is done!”

A beautiful morning Holy Spirit spend it with me

I repent for spending far too much time watching chick flicks. When in my quiet time all I can meditate on, or all that comes to mind for meditation is lines from “You’ve got mail.” I have a serious problem, but not to serious for the LORD to straighten out.
So, on this beautiful spring Albuquerque morning Holy Spirit and I worked it out. He washed over me with the word of God that cleanses my conscience. He filled me with his favor and acceptance and I go on.

I asked Holy Spirit to speak the mysteries of the Kingdom to me. I yearn to know them.

Romans 14:17-18
For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

I set there pondering what this scripture actually means. I don’t know about you, but the Kingdom of God fascinates me and I am equally perplexed by it. Whenever I read the parables that Jesus taught on the Kingdom, I always am left going what? What is he really saying? Yet, I can’t seem to get away from them lately. I am convinced they have valuable undisclosed instructions for all of us.

So, I am going to try and break this down. The Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking. Paul was dealing with the food restrictions written in the Law of Moses. He was trying to clarify that these restrictions and laws are not applicable in the New Covenant. He goes on to say clearly what the Kingdom is in relation to: righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

Romans 14:17
The Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit

Righteousness comes only through relationship with Jesus Christ. We all know the definition as it pertains to being born again. We come into right standing with God through the blood sacrifice of Jesus his Son.

Lets look at how it applies to us being righteous. I think it simply means for us to do the right thing. Daniel had a specific word for King Nebuchadnezzar about righteousness. I really liked how he phrased it.

Daniel 4:27
Therefore, O king, be pleased to accept my advice: Renounce your sins by doing what is right, and your wickedness by being kind to the oppressed. It may be that then your prosperity will continue.

We who are part of the Body of Christ should be regularly aware of the needs of others in the Kingdom and also in the world. This will come easily to us as we are in Christ and are taking on more of the LORD’s character daily. The additional time we spend in His Presence will produce more acts of kindness. The fruit of His Spirit will begin to manifest in our actions toward others.

Romans 14:17
For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit

The kingdom is about peace. I treasure this particular fruit more than any other one. To live without peace is a life filled with turmoil, and unrest. I was unsettled and filled with confusion before Christ filled me with his peace.

Luke 1:78-79
Because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.

I was one of those people living in darkness and in the shadow of death! God came with tenderness and mercy and guided my feet into the path of peace! To live without yelling and strife is so amazing. After I came into Christ it took me several years to develop a peaceful and quiet spirit. I voiced this prayer frequently to God to give me a gentle and quiet spirit. Most often now people remark that our house is a house of peace. To live in the Kingdom of God is to live a life filled with peace!

Romans 14:17
For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit

The Kingdom of God is Joy in the Holy Spirit. To have joy is pleasant, and agreeable, delighting in something or someone. Joy is an overall sentiment that all is well. Where do we derive our joy?

Psalm 16:11
You will make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your Presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Spending quality time with the LORD brings many benefits to the child of God. Joy is one of them. We discover the pathway of life. God’s plan and desires for us. We begin to see ourselves as God sees us! This my friend brings great inexplicable joy. We are filled to overflowing with his Presence, his purposes, and his JOY!

Luke 2:10
But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.”

Father I welcome Holy Spirit to lead me to the living word that is relevant for me today.

Hosea 6:3
Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the spring rains, Like the spring rains that water the earth.

This is what I heard the Spirit whisper to me. Think on this; do not leave it so quickly. Ponder and consider what I am saying to you.

What does it mean to acknowledge the LORD? The definitions of acknowledge are: to admit the existence, reality or truth of, to recognize as being valid or having force or power.

I admit there is a God. I am acquainted with his reality and power in my life. Holy Spirit was urging me to press into God’s existence. I recognize that He is at work in and through me. The beautiful promise to me, if I choose to do this, is that He will appear. He will come to me and refresh me like the rains in spring. The sun raises everyday that is a certainty. Likewise the LORD’s daily communion with me is assured. The word also says that the LORD’s presence is as predictable as the seasons.

We can always count on Him. Do not fret lean into his Presence. Make yourself available to Him. I have asked the LORD at night before I go to sleep, “Wake me up later, so that we can talk.” One other thing I have begun asking him for is dreams and visions. He will not disappoint you.

Hosea 10:12-14
Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers righteousness on you.
But you have planted wickedness, you have reaped evil, you have eaten the fruit of deception. Because you have depended on your own strength and on your many warriors, the roar of battle will rise against your people so that all your fortresses will be devastated.

God is calling us to righteousness, to actually sow righteousness. Plainly put, He is telling us to live morally. Upholding His standards that are found in His Word. By analogy God is teaching us to live relationally with Him. He is saying, “Don’t harden your hearts. Allow yourselves to be cultivated.” A heart that is soft is teachable and open to hear. When we humble ourselves through repentance, we also are breaking up the fallow ground.

I hear urgency in this cry it is time to seek the LORD! Don’t lay it aside for something to do later in life. He is waiting with mysteries and wisdom to impart to you! We are under New Covenant law. God does not respond to us in the same way He did to unfaithful Israel.

Yea Jesus!

We are living in an age of grace, but this is not a license to forsake our first love and do as we please. There is a cost for doing as we please. One of the first things I notice, is my strength is gone. Strength is linked to faith. When I forsake my quiet times I am weakened considerably in how I stand. Secondly, my quietness of mind and heart are altered. When I am troubled over many things, my mind seems to be pulled in many directions. This is the perfect ground for deception as it reads in the above verse.

We cannot walk this walk alone! God made us relational. We were created for fellowship with our Creator!

John 15:5
I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

That is a strong statement and narrow in its application. But I believe it!

God created us with a free will, but He likewise created us to be dependent on Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He wants to be a vital part of your life. Consider who He is: Creator God, the God of the Universe. He brings with him love that abounds, fullness of riches, all wisdom and understanding, and the mysteries of Christ revealed! Wow! These are good things.

Proverbs 31:25
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
These were the words Jesus spoke to me that Saturday night a few weeks ago.



John 15:7
If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.

This speaks of an intimate relationship. Knowing one another as a husband knows his wife.
This does not speak of a casual association. Nor does it speak of a Santa Claus giving gifts based on how good you have been.

Abiding simply means to stay or remain. You are not coming and going out of this relationship.
Staying committed permanently in a relationship is linked to giving and receiving, and also bearing fruit.

In giving of ourselves, we are sharing our personal thoughts and our dreams for the future with the one we intimately love.

The receiving comes through this relationship of oneness. Our beloved speaks courage to us and affirms us in our dreams and desires.

On a personal note; my husband has always done this for me. He was encouraging me over fifteen years ago to begin writing the things God was speaking to me. I did not see this in myself. In fact I was surprised to hear this from him. I said to him, “I can’t write professionally, I don’t have any training.” He saw the gifts the Father had deposited inside of me. He is truly my beloved, who knows me intimately.

Ask whatever you wish and I will do it. Just to look at this statement alone is so unbelievably, WOW! Lets look at this in terms of relationship. When we are intimate with our spouse, we truly know his dreams and his desires. They become ours because we are one with him. This is abiding. I know the heartbeat of my beloved. It has become my heartbeat. So, my asking is always good and pertains to kingdom living.

I do not fret over the concept, “Is this God’s will?”

I am abiding in Him, I have overheard his heart and desires. They have become my own.
It gives the Father great joy to answer, “Yes you can!” “Yes, I will partner with you in this great endeavor!”

John 15:8
My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.

Simply put, when our lives are fruitful this brings honor to our Father.
This is also a true sign of a disciple of Christ. You bear fruit!

John 15:11
These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.

Our desire fulfilled brings great life to us. It gives us joy that is unspeakable.

Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
So, the LORD has clothed me with strength and dignity and I can laugh at the days to come.
Why? Because I have great hope and I am filled with expectation and joy!

This is an excerpt from my journal written March 21, 1994

As I interceded today, the LORD showed me a vision of myself at age 15. I saw myself in an old dirty store across the street from my high school. I had skipped a few classes and was hanging out with friends from school. This was a popular place to skip classes. This particular day the dean of the school had come over to search for wayward students. I remember very clearly running into the girl’s restroom and crouching in the corner. I was discovered and taken back to school to face the consequences of my actions.

The LORD showed me that this was the root, or the beginning of my rebellion. I confessed the sin of rebellion and was forgiven. The next thing I remember seeing is the blood of Jesus covering me and washing me whiter than snow. I felt clean, and pure in heart. I saw myself walking out of that store with Jesus. I was changed. I was radiant.
Praise God for his deliverance and inner healing.

Psalm 51:7
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow.

Jesus spoke these words to me:

I have washed you whiter than snow. You are clean before me. Now that this rebellion has been uprooted from your heart you will be able to serve me with an undivided heart. You can walk in purity and uprightness of heart, free from any manipulation. I desire more from you, more praise, worship, intercession, waiting in my presence,and a greater sense of who I am in your life. You have been set free from bondage, a spiritual bondage. Rejoice your chains have been broken off. You are free. You are lighter in heart. Rejoice before me with singing and with dance. You will be healed, as you are obedient to this word. Shout and rejoice you were a prisoner in the darkest of gloom, but my word and my blood have set you free.

I remember spending over an hour dancing, shouting, weeping and interceding after this visitation with the LORD. He is my Deliverer!

I have so much to be thankful for in my life. This is a piece of my life that was miraculously put back together by the grace of my LORD.

The one thing I remember about that day was the shame I felt. That is a terrible thing to live with. That was a period of about twenty years from high school to the time of this visitation. That is too long to live under the weight of shame. The enemy of my soul would have loved to see me stay in the bondage that I was under. He will do whatever it takes to thwart the plan that God has for his children. You see, as long as I am crippled emotionally, I cannot minister the grace and freedom to other people.

I was born again in 1981, thirteen years before this visitation. I was forgiven of all my sins that day in 1981, so why did I need more restoration?

I think sin fragments our soul. It wounds us deeply. I was forgiven yes, but not completely restored in my mind and emotions. The LORD is so faithful to do this work. I could have continued on the way I was, but not as effective.

Psalm 23:1-3
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.

It is only the LORD who can do this internal restoration. I am not the same person I was thirty years ago, or even last year. The beauty of living in the kingdom of God is that He is always at work in my life.

The fruit of this is more passion to see the body of Christ completely whole.

Father,
I give myself over to your Lordship. I submit to you and what you want accomplished in my life. I acknowledge I have no answers for seemingly a list of problems. I trust you. I look to you. Purify my heart and my mind with the washing of the word. Let my thinking become clearer and right. I thank you for this time that has been set apart. (No work, school or duties) This is a blessed time. I praise you and honor you!

Psalm 42:5-8
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him. For the help of His presence. O my God, my soul is in despair within me; therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan, and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the sound of the Your waterfalls; all Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me. The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and his song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life.

My mind, will, and emotions have been disturbed. I have sought the peace of God, only to go away more confused in my mind. My thoughts have been like a whirlwind. I have not been able to settle them. I have cried out to the LORD. I have heard very little to bring comfort to my mind.
This began upon returning to the states from Amsterdam. I have called it a darkness of the soul.
Have you ever been there? Probably. If you have walked with the LORD for any length of time, you have probably experienced some of what I am describing.
So, what do we do, when we feel we are spiraling out of touch with the LORD?

Continue to seek Him
I know He hears the cries of his children.
Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken

Continue to meditate on the word of God
It brings life and clarity to you mind, will and emotions
Hebrews 10:22
Let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

Hebrews 4:12
The word of God is active and living and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

I Peter 5:10
After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

Trust in God’s word and His power more than you trust you own feelings and experiences. Remember, your Rock is Christ, and it is the sea that ebbs and flows with the tides, not Him.
(Samuel Rutherford)

Good feelings come and go, but God is steadfast.
He is requiring you and I to walk by faith. That means when circumstances never change, we still believe and hope in the midst of them. I encouraged myself in the LORD today. As the psalmist wrote in the beautiful psalm 42, “my soul is in despair, therefore, I will remember you”

Remember what God has promised, what he will do, and the character of God. I don’t know if this is the end of my darkness of soul, but even if it isn’t I will yet praise Him!

Allow Christ to break it down and rebuild it

Isaiah 61:4
They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.

This past weekend I was dramatically healed of what I believe was an autoimmune disease. I was never medically diagnosed, but I had all the symptoms. I had chronic pain, and stiffness in my upper extremities. I was beginning to experience limited mobility in my shoulders and arms. I was taking an anti-inflammatory drug, and a muscle relaxer to just sleep through the night. I would consistently awake around four in the morning with pain. The drugs would help, but they were terribly upsetting to my stomach. So, I would take a small dose and then wait a couple of days before taking another. I would have a span of several days that were not good.

This is all in the past, as I have not had any pain or stiffness for several days!!

Psalm 16:6
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I was invited to a women’s encounter weekend at my church. It was amazing! I had time to soak in the LORD’s Presence. This brought so much life to me. There were several sessions that we could choose to sit in on. The one that made a huge impact on me was the one on generational curses being broken. I thought that I was completely healed emotionally. The LORD’s Presence has a beautiful way of gently bringing things buried to the surface. So, the Holy Spirit said to me “abandonment” I just heard that one word. I was reminded of a time and place in my childhood where I really felt abandoned. My small group leader was with me and I told her what I heard. She walked me through releasing and forgiving my family for falling short in my young life. I am not blaming my family. I love them dearly. None of us operate in perfect love. We fall short. The good news is I totally released them and love them. I am free!

The Scriptures for this blog entry are all from that class. The power of the word of God is so amazing that it totally delivered me from a chronic illness!! The day ended with my pastor praying over me and releasing the Father’s love for me. The lady that was leading the encounter weekend prayed over me also. It was interesting what the Holy Spirit showed her. She said that the enemy had an assignment against me and that it was broken. I believe that assignment came at a very early age and was intended to destroy me. The Father had a great plan and would not allow the enemy to have his way. I cannot put into words how much I love him.

As the teacher of that one class said to all of us:
Allow Christ to break it down and rebuild it.

Only the LORD can do this because He is our Creator. He made us and has witnessed our entire life from beginning in the womb till our present age. He has our past, our present and our future!

Raleigh was a bitter place

The year was 2004, and we had hoped to be living in Albuquerque by that time. We found ourselves living in Raleigh, NC.

In 2003 our lives were turned upside down. We had received many prophetic words that we would be moving to Albuquerque. We had applied for a transfer, and it looked like we had it. Then, a loophole prevented the transfer. It was so disappointing.

A few months later I was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. This time we did get the transfer, but not to Albuquerque. We moved to Raleigh, NC so that I could be treated at Duke University Hospital.

When you are expecting the LORD to do what He has spoken and it does not happen something happens inside your heart. You wonder in the quietness of your soul, “Did I really hear the voice of the LORD?” You may not even voice the question out loud, but its there. You begin to turn your ear away from the voice you know as the LORD’s because you don’t want to miss it again.

Exodus 15:22-25
Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water. When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter. So the people grumbled against Moses saying, “What are we to drink?” Then Moses cried out to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became sweet.

An excerpt from my journal during this time:
My purposes are being played out in your life. Raleigh will ever be a picture of your humanness, of your inadequacies. Impurities come forth during the refining process. Don’t lose hope during this time of refining; pure gold is coming to you.

I said earlier that we had received many prophetic words about Albuquerque. They weren’t just concerning the geographical move. Several of them were about gold coming to us. I knew that this did not refer to prosperity coming to us, but a refining process.
I am certain that the LORD is very interested in perfecting our faith.

I will never forget the day in Raleigh that I relinquished my rights. I laid them down, and accepted what the LORD had dealt to me. I received much peace that day. I was healed of my doubts and bitterness. I released my desires for living in Albuquerque. Trusting that the Good Shepherd had led us to that place for a season.

Exodus 15:25-26
There the LORD made a decree and a law for them, and there he tested them. He said, “If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD who heals you.”
This is an interesting passage of scripture. I think we can glean much from this test the LORD himself put the Israelites through.

We trust the LORD as he leads our families. We at times are led in difficult paths, bitter paths. We do not give up, and we continue to trust that our loving Father is leading us. I think that piece of wood that Moses threw into Marah was representative of the cross. When Jesus enters our lives he definitely brings the water of life to us.

I Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

I did partake of Living Water that day in Raleigh, as I surrendered my rights. I was not disappointed. I was healed completely from that potentially deadly cancer. I grew so much in my trust and faith in the LORD.

I am now living in Albuquerque.

But God remembered Noah

That’s what it says in Genesis 8:1.
Who would think that one little line of scripture could bring so much life to me? It did!
I was awakened the other morning to these words, “ Jan, I have loved you with an everlasting love.”

It was coming from the lover of my soul, my Beloved calling to me to come away with Him. He is altogether lovely, and my love is toward Him. My ear is attentive to his voice.

I had been talking to the LORD about my life. I have really been struggling to trust Him lately. It seems Nate and I are in a waiting time. There is no doubt that the LORD is orchestrating this time. It is still a very difficult place to be. I don’t want to be vague, so I will explain.

Over a year ago, we received a mandate that we would do foreign missions. We prayed and it was confirmed. We did our first trip to Amsterdam in September. We knew this was only the beginning, and received clearer direction for the future. We came back to New Mexico with plans to go out again in September of 2009. We plan on doing a DTS (Discipleship Training School) in Kona, Hawaii. We chose this YWAM base because of their emphasis on Asian outreach.

Since being back in the states, we have had a difficult time finding employment. Nate has been looking and nothing has come through for him as of yet. We are thinking we need to settle some financial matters before going in September. I know the LORD is aware of our plans because He gave them to us. So the morning that I awoke to the LORD calling me, I was eager to hear from Him.

I had also been meditating on Noah’s life. He had such a beautiful relationship with the LORD. He trusted him completely.

Genesis 6:9
Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God.

Genesis 6:13-14
God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. So, make yourself an ark of cypress wood.

Genesis 6:22
Noah did everything just as God commanded him.

I love that passage of scripture. I began to think, have I done everything the LORD has commanded me to do in regards to leaving in September. It seems pretty cut and dry. The LORD gives the mandate and we obey it. Why do I go through so many pathways?
It certainly is a trust issue.
Do I trust that I have heard correctly?
Do I trust Him to open doors and settle things, so that we can do what he has asked us to do?

We can learn a lot from these passages of scripture. Noah was an amazing man of God. I was thinking about how long it took from the time Noah received the command from the LORD to build the ark and when the floodwaters actually began. I am not a Bible scholar, but I believe it was close to one hundred years. That is waiting and trusting that you really did hear from the LORD. We know that it really did flood and the waters destroyed all mankind. We also know that God preserved the lives of Noah and his family.

Genesis 8:1
But God remembered Noah.

This passage of scripture really spoke to me of God’s faithfulness. God is faithful to do what he promises you. It may seem that nothing in the natural is happening to further your life’s call or mission. God is at work. He will complete what He has begun in you. Our job is to rest in his faithfulness. We know the character of God, so we rest. Noah walked with God. He knew Him, and that is why Noah could obey him so beautifully.

The other night we had a friend over for dinner. We typically pray together after our meal. This night as he prayed for Nate and I, he said that he saw a dove with an olive branch in his mouth. He had no idea that I had been meditating on Noah’s life.

Genesis 8:10-11
He waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth.
This is an excerpt from my journal:
“I have not forgotten you. Do not feel that way. This is being played out to My liking. Take this time to rest, being shut up in the Ark, till you send out the dove and it returns with an olive leaf in its mouth.”

God truly meets us where we are at in our faith. He is a good Father. Sometimes, I have faith to move mountains, and other times I am like a scared little child who needs the comfort of her Father.

He understands me completely. Sigh

So, I rest and wait.

God loves Israel. He will not forget His word to her.

Jeremiah 31:3-4
The LORD appeared to us in the past saying:
I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt,
O Virgin Israel.
Again you will take up your tambourines and
Go out to dance with the joyful.

God is patiently waiting for Israel to acknowledge Him. He spoke through many prophets to his beloved Israel. Jeremiah spoke with such passion about the everlasting love of God. God wants Israel to turn to him wholeheartedly. It grieves the heart of God to see nations coming against her to do evil. There is coming a day, when Israel will be liberated. She will acknowledge the One who loves her. I would like to share from two prophets that had a vision of this day.

Nahum was sent by God to prophesy against Nineveh, which is present day Iraq.

Nahum spoke of the destruction of Nineveh.

Nahum 1:11
From you, O Nineveh, has one come forth who plots evil against the LORD and counsels wickedness.

Nahum 1:15
Look, there on the mountains, the feet of one who brings good news, who proclaims peace! Celebrate your festivals, O Judah, and fulfill your vows. No more will the wicked invade you; they will be completely destroyed.

Zephaniah was sent by God to prophesy against several nations: Philistia which is present day Gaza, Moab and Ammon which is present day Jordan, Cush which is present day Ethiopia, and Assyria which is present day Iraq.

Moab and Amnon who insulted my people and made threats against their land will become a wasteland forever.

Gaza will be abandoned, at the same time the cities Ashkelon left in ruins, Ashdod emptied, and Ekron uprooted (cities in Israel that border the Gaza strip).

Cush will be slain by the sword.

Assyria will be left utterly desolate and dry as the desert.

God observes and waits patiently to carry out his promises to Israel. His covenant with her will stand, because it is His word.

Jeremiah 31:33
This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel. After that time, declares the LORD. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God and they will be my people.”

Zephaniah 3:14-17
Sing, O Daughter of Zion; shout aloud, O Israel! Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O Daughter of Jerusalem! The LORD has taken away your punishment; he has turned back your enemy. The LORD the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm. On that day they will say to Jerusalem, Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp. The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

You can see the heart of our Father toward Israel. He longs to show her his love. Israel again is in the heart of a battle. Nations continue to rise up against her. Let us stand with her during this time. Pray for her deliverance and please pray that we as a nation will not cease to support her.

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem!