Father,
I give myself over to your Lordship. I submit to you and what you want accomplished in my life. I acknowledge I have no answers for seemingly a list of problems. I trust you. I look to you. Purify my heart and my mind with the washing of the word. Let my thinking become clearer and right. I thank you for this time that has been set apart. (No work, school or duties) This is a blessed time. I praise you and honor you!

Psalm 42:5-8
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him. For the help of His presence. O my God, my soul is in despair within me; therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan, and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the sound of the Your waterfalls; all Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me. The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and his song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life.

My mind, will, and emotions have been disturbed. I have sought the peace of God, only to go away more confused in my mind. My thoughts have been like a whirlwind. I have not been able to settle them. I have cried out to the LORD. I have heard very little to bring comfort to my mind.
This began upon returning to the states from Amsterdam. I have called it a darkness of the soul.
Have you ever been there? Probably. If you have walked with the LORD for any length of time, you have probably experienced some of what I am describing.
So, what do we do, when we feel we are spiraling out of touch with the LORD?

Continue to seek Him
I know He hears the cries of his children.
Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken

Continue to meditate on the word of God
It brings life and clarity to you mind, will and emotions
Hebrews 10:22
Let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

Hebrews 4:12
The word of God is active and living and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

I Peter 5:10
After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

Trust in God’s word and His power more than you trust you own feelings and experiences. Remember, your Rock is Christ, and it is the sea that ebbs and flows with the tides, not Him.
(Samuel Rutherford)

Good feelings come and go, but God is steadfast.
He is requiring you and I to walk by faith. That means when circumstances never change, we still believe and hope in the midst of them. I encouraged myself in the LORD today. As the psalmist wrote in the beautiful psalm 42, “my soul is in despair, therefore, I will remember you”

Remember what God has promised, what he will do, and the character of God. I don’t know if this is the end of my darkness of soul, but even if it isn’t I will yet praise Him!