Reckless Love Comes Easily Through Covenant

I John 4:19 
We love because he first loved us.

What brings deep satisfaction to a man or woman? To love and to know your love is returned, and preferred to all others.  This does not come through a one night encounter, but through making a commitment till death us do part!

Isn’t that an amazing statement—we love because Jesus loved us first.

Jesus exemplifies relational covenant love. He is faithful and we also are called to be faithful in our covenant to our spouses.  Simply, it is our promise before God and whoever witnessed our marriage ceremony to love, to lay down our rights, to serve, to be all that we can be for that one we are joining ourselves with, till death parts us. 

It is one thing to love, but to have that love returned brings great contentment. We share great joy with the newly engaged couple that is bursting forth with shared love. It is time to celebrate! The bride exclaims, “I have found the one who loves me in return!” The groom proclaims, “I have found the one who has deemed me honorable and trustworthy. She has chosen me above all other men, and her love is singularly towards me!”

I am reminded of a child’s game. You send a note to the one you like the best. They are to check the appropriate box, yes or no. Do you like me in return? Do you remember how hurtful this was though to see the no box checked or when the next week the one you liked checked someone else’s yes box? This is child’s play, but we are so programmed to love and to be loved. Our Heavenly Father made us in His image, His very nature is love, and He is true to His covenant with us.

It is probably one of the worst pains felt, to be betrayed by the one you love. If we could see into our hearts, I’m certain you would see a gash in it. You see when you enter the covenant of marriage you become one flesh with that person. The Lord said, this is a mystery—it is a little difficult to understand in our minds. Some know all to well how painful it is when this one flesh has been violated by adultery. Others have watched a loved one or dear friend experience this pain. I believe it must be worse than the death of a spouse. It feels as if your heart is literally breaking-in-two, a tearing of that one flesh.

Ephesians 5:31-33 (NKJV)

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  ³² This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. ³³ Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

In a healthy marriage there is a trust dynamic at work. You have confidence in the character of your spouse. This sets in motion the husband freely giving of himself to his wife and she gives herself freely in return. He does not lord over her in a demanding way—on the contrary he serves her. The wife’s desire is to be submissive to her husband as she would be to the LORD. It is a beautiful mystery, a beautiful symphony of giving and receiving. I said this statement recently about my husband. “I know that he would literally lay his life down for me.”  This assurance has come through seeing his commitment to our marriage and his deep love for me. 

A woman and a man will respond with a reckless abandoned love for one another when they love and that love is returned. With time we have confidence that the one we love is committed for the duration of life.  It is a safe place within the marriage covenant and the marriage bed is undefiled. Your children also recognize and feel the security and sense the peace that comes from this beautiful union between their parents.

Precious Father,
I ask that you would teach us to love the way you love. I ask that you would give us good understanding of what it means to be in a marital covenant with our spouse.  Show us the little things that we can do to demonstrate our unconditional, committed, passionate love to our spouses. Help us work on the areas that cause us conflict in our marriages. Perfect us in your love.