Striving to make things happen through prayer, and nothing
is changing. Then we talk, we talk some more and still we are no closer to a
resolution! I am so restless and
discouraged. It is looking out at your future knowing God has an amazing plan
and feeling like we are not able to attain it. This friend is the makings of
hopelessness. Have you guys been there
in the past or maybe now there appears to be a mountain before you and your God
given destiny?
Restless
Without rest—fall on
Jesus
Don’t run or walk
Just fall into me
Trust
Fall—I will embrace
you
Rest
I needed Jesus this way recently…
He is faithful when I have little to offer him in return. He
knows my heart better than I know me. He allows me this vulnerability and
offers me reassuring comfort. Many words were spoken but few that made sense to
me. In times like these I tend to filter
everything through past and present hurts. I should just be quiet and let the
storm pass, and take my own advice, pick
your battles. Hope will return as surely as the sun rises in the morning.
Although this morning in East Texas the sun never truly showed itself—it seem
to be fitting for my frame of mind.
Deuteronomy 33:12 (NASB)
Of Benjamin he said,
May the beloved of the Lord
Dwell in security by Him,
Who shields him all the day, and
He dwells between His shoulders.
Our trip to church is a good thirty minutes and there is a
fair amount of reflection going on typically. Nate and I are usually quiet,
it’s the way we like our Sunday mornings, easy as the song from the past
goes. We had a new CD playing and a
beautiful songstress was singing about resting in her beloved’s arms. The Holy
Spirit was speaking tenderly to me through this song. He was able to break through the cloud of
distrust, and self-doubt long enough to impart some hope to my heart.
I love the above scripture and I return to it often for the
picture it pens for me. Some of us have experienced the tenderness of a mother
or father holding us close to their chest. There is much security in this
posture. Trust, rest, and love are some of the good things Papa God wants to
give us. He is always available—all we need to do is fall on him.
Our daughter and her husband are house parents for a local
ministry for neglected children. They recently received six little ones. They
are so vulnerable you can see it in their little dark eyes. You can only imagine how afraid they must have
been upon arriving at this strange new place. Nate and I went over on Friday to
spend some time getting acquainted with them. Knowing somehow I was safe, two
of the youngest boys separately over the course of hours, climbed into my lap
and laid their heads against my chest. They snuggled close drinking in my
warmth and security, after about five minutes they were on their way playing once
again with the other children.
Tonight as we were there once again celebrating birthdays
with two of them. One of the four year old boys ran and jumped into my husbands
lap, wrapped his little arms around his neck and just laid there on his chest.
Nate embraced him with a father’s love.
Can we relate to this behavior, to this need for retreat
until we sense the security of the Father? I think we can say a resounding yes! I am reminded of a line from yet
another song from the past—the warrior
is a child by Twila Paris.
They don’t know that I
go running home when I fall down
They don’t know who
picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and
cry for just a while
Cause deep inside this
armor
The warrior is a child
He is all we need—our sweet Father, Papa God. I fell into
him yesterday, today and I know that I will many more times on this journey
called life. My circumstances have not changed, but I am able to trust him with
them tonight.
