It will soon be three years that our lives were suddenly changed with the death of our mother. She was the glue that held our family tight as a family should be. We were not without dysfunction that is for sure. I have fond memories mixed with hard, chaotic ones. Our family was characterized by our love for each other. We were a loud, demonstrative family and there was always something going on in our lives. You never knew when something was going to arise out of the blue and then explode with accusations and fears. Quickly as these episodes would arise they would subside and calm would resume without a mention of the transgression or transgressor. Consequently, most things were swept under the carpet and very few issues were ever resolved. Nevertheless, we were a family that loved one another. My parents were married sixty-seven years at the time of mom’s death. What a legacy! We all know that their marriage was not perfect; it had flaws like most marriages do. They were committed to each other and also to their family. I always knew that I was loved and that I had a place in Pensacola I called home. It is still difficult years later to acknowledge that she is gone. I often want to pick up the phone and call her to let her know about some milestone in my life. Dad just never seemed to enjoy hearing things about our family like mom did. I truly miss her so much. My husband Nate and I had the privilege of living with mom and dad a few years ago. They were in need of caregivers and we spent a year and a half with them. I will always cherish those memories. There were good ones and believe me there were those times that were extremely challenging. Anyone who knew my momma would understand she was not easy to live with. She was loving, yes, but also very opinionated. Dad was always easy going and went along with what everyone else wanted. I am glad for that season with them. I have no regrets in my relationship with mom or dad.
Dad lived thirty-one months longer than momma. I think we all expected him to pass away a lot sooner than he did. He was lost without her, but he valued his life until the end. He had such a sweet heart and I loved being with him. I have such fond memories of my daddy. When I was a child he would always take me upon his lap and give me lots of hugs. I felt very safe in his arms. He would pretend to chew on my toes and fingers saying, “Mm good chicken.” I also remember him bringing snowballs (chocolate cake covered with marshmallow) home from work for me. He would smell of mint (doublemint gum was the culprit) and government buildings. He worked in civil service for thirty-five years. These are some of my early childhood memories that put a smile on my face even today.
Dad was lovingly cared for by my brother and his wife until he became too feeble to live without assistance. He then went into an assisted living facility where he was still cared for by my brothers, my sister and my cousins. He was loved and cared for and never lacked provisions, even down to his fruit basket. You all truly exemplified the love of God to our dad. Thank you!
Our dad passed away November 27th, 2009 just two days after his ninety-first birthday. He lived a long and honorable life. My heart mourns for him because he is not here anymore. I have peace even though he is with the LORD and with momma. That gives me peace and makes me smile. His eyes are dark brown again and he can see! His body is no longer feeble and wracked with pain. I rejoice with him! I still sorrow though, not just for him but for our family. I have come to realize that the family is no longer there in Pensacola. That era has ended. I am learning how to allow myself to grieve. I have no regrets, but I am letting the process of grief have its way for a season. I think that this is one method of dealing with my grief. To write out my feelings brings some kind of closure that is healthy. In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon writes that there is a time to mourn. So, I am taking this to time to remember our family. Obra William Solice and Anna Catherine Channell who in part made our lives what they are today. You are remembered and missed sorely.
