Raleigh was a bitter place

The year was 2004, and we had hoped to be living in Albuquerque by that time. We found ourselves living in Raleigh, NC.

In 2003 our lives were turned upside down. We had received many prophetic words that we would be moving to Albuquerque. We had applied for a transfer, and it looked like we had it. Then, a loophole prevented the transfer. It was so disappointing.

A few months later I was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. This time we did get the transfer, but not to Albuquerque. We moved to Raleigh, NC so that I could be treated at Duke University Hospital.

When you are expecting the LORD to do what He has spoken and it does not happen something happens inside your heart. You wonder in the quietness of your soul, “Did I really hear the voice of the LORD?” You may not even voice the question out loud, but its there. You begin to turn your ear away from the voice you know as the LORD’s because you don’t want to miss it again.

Exodus 15:22-25
Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water. When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter. So the people grumbled against Moses saying, “What are we to drink?” Then Moses cried out to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became sweet.

An excerpt from my journal during this time:
My purposes are being played out in your life. Raleigh will ever be a picture of your humanness, of your inadequacies. Impurities come forth during the refining process. Don’t lose hope during this time of refining; pure gold is coming to you.

I said earlier that we had received many prophetic words about Albuquerque. They weren’t just concerning the geographical move. Several of them were about gold coming to us. I knew that this did not refer to prosperity coming to us, but a refining process.
I am certain that the LORD is very interested in perfecting our faith.

I will never forget the day in Raleigh that I relinquished my rights. I laid them down, and accepted what the LORD had dealt to me. I received much peace that day. I was healed of my doubts and bitterness. I released my desires for living in Albuquerque. Trusting that the Good Shepherd had led us to that place for a season.

Exodus 15:25-26
There the LORD made a decree and a law for them, and there he tested them. He said, “If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD who heals you.”
This is an interesting passage of scripture. I think we can glean much from this test the LORD himself put the Israelites through.

We trust the LORD as he leads our families. We at times are led in difficult paths, bitter paths. We do not give up, and we continue to trust that our loving Father is leading us. I think that piece of wood that Moses threw into Marah was representative of the cross. When Jesus enters our lives he definitely brings the water of life to us.

I Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

I did partake of Living Water that day in Raleigh, as I surrendered my rights. I was not disappointed. I was healed completely from that potentially deadly cancer. I grew so much in my trust and faith in the LORD.

I am now living in Albuquerque.

But God remembered Noah

That’s what it says in Genesis 8:1.
Who would think that one little line of scripture could bring so much life to me? It did!
I was awakened the other morning to these words, “ Jan, I have loved you with an everlasting love.”

It was coming from the lover of my soul, my Beloved calling to me to come away with Him. He is altogether lovely, and my love is toward Him. My ear is attentive to his voice.

I had been talking to the LORD about my life. I have really been struggling to trust Him lately. It seems Nate and I are in a waiting time. There is no doubt that the LORD is orchestrating this time. It is still a very difficult place to be. I don’t want to be vague, so I will explain.

Over a year ago, we received a mandate that we would do foreign missions. We prayed and it was confirmed. We did our first trip to Amsterdam in September. We knew this was only the beginning, and received clearer direction for the future. We came back to New Mexico with plans to go out again in September of 2009. We plan on doing a DTS (Discipleship Training School) in Kona, Hawaii. We chose this YWAM base because of their emphasis on Asian outreach.

Since being back in the states, we have had a difficult time finding employment. Nate has been looking and nothing has come through for him as of yet. We are thinking we need to settle some financial matters before going in September. I know the LORD is aware of our plans because He gave them to us. So the morning that I awoke to the LORD calling me, I was eager to hear from Him.

I had also been meditating on Noah’s life. He had such a beautiful relationship with the LORD. He trusted him completely.

Genesis 6:9
Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God.

Genesis 6:13-14
God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. So, make yourself an ark of cypress wood.

Genesis 6:22
Noah did everything just as God commanded him.

I love that passage of scripture. I began to think, have I done everything the LORD has commanded me to do in regards to leaving in September. It seems pretty cut and dry. The LORD gives the mandate and we obey it. Why do I go through so many pathways?
It certainly is a trust issue.
Do I trust that I have heard correctly?
Do I trust Him to open doors and settle things, so that we can do what he has asked us to do?

We can learn a lot from these passages of scripture. Noah was an amazing man of God. I was thinking about how long it took from the time Noah received the command from the LORD to build the ark and when the floodwaters actually began. I am not a Bible scholar, but I believe it was close to one hundred years. That is waiting and trusting that you really did hear from the LORD. We know that it really did flood and the waters destroyed all mankind. We also know that God preserved the lives of Noah and his family.

Genesis 8:1
But God remembered Noah.

This passage of scripture really spoke to me of God’s faithfulness. God is faithful to do what he promises you. It may seem that nothing in the natural is happening to further your life’s call or mission. God is at work. He will complete what He has begun in you. Our job is to rest in his faithfulness. We know the character of God, so we rest. Noah walked with God. He knew Him, and that is why Noah could obey him so beautifully.

The other night we had a friend over for dinner. We typically pray together after our meal. This night as he prayed for Nate and I, he said that he saw a dove with an olive branch in his mouth. He had no idea that I had been meditating on Noah’s life.

Genesis 8:10-11
He waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf! Then Noah knew that the water had receded from the earth.
This is an excerpt from my journal:
“I have not forgotten you. Do not feel that way. This is being played out to My liking. Take this time to rest, being shut up in the Ark, till you send out the dove and it returns with an olive leaf in its mouth.”

God truly meets us where we are at in our faith. He is a good Father. Sometimes, I have faith to move mountains, and other times I am like a scared little child who needs the comfort of her Father.

He understands me completely. Sigh

So, I rest and wait.

God loves Israel. He will not forget His word to her.

Jeremiah 31:3-4
The LORD appeared to us in the past saying:
I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt,
O Virgin Israel.
Again you will take up your tambourines and
Go out to dance with the joyful.

God is patiently waiting for Israel to acknowledge Him. He spoke through many prophets to his beloved Israel. Jeremiah spoke with such passion about the everlasting love of God. God wants Israel to turn to him wholeheartedly. It grieves the heart of God to see nations coming against her to do evil. There is coming a day, when Israel will be liberated. She will acknowledge the One who loves her. I would like to share from two prophets that had a vision of this day.

Nahum was sent by God to prophesy against Nineveh, which is present day Iraq.

Nahum spoke of the destruction of Nineveh.

Nahum 1:11
From you, O Nineveh, has one come forth who plots evil against the LORD and counsels wickedness.

Nahum 1:15
Look, there on the mountains, the feet of one who brings good news, who proclaims peace! Celebrate your festivals, O Judah, and fulfill your vows. No more will the wicked invade you; they will be completely destroyed.

Zephaniah was sent by God to prophesy against several nations: Philistia which is present day Gaza, Moab and Ammon which is present day Jordan, Cush which is present day Ethiopia, and Assyria which is present day Iraq.

Moab and Amnon who insulted my people and made threats against their land will become a wasteland forever.

Gaza will be abandoned, at the same time the cities Ashkelon left in ruins, Ashdod emptied, and Ekron uprooted (cities in Israel that border the Gaza strip).

Cush will be slain by the sword.

Assyria will be left utterly desolate and dry as the desert.

God observes and waits patiently to carry out his promises to Israel. His covenant with her will stand, because it is His word.

Jeremiah 31:33
This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel. After that time, declares the LORD. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God and they will be my people.”

Zephaniah 3:14-17
Sing, O Daughter of Zion; shout aloud, O Israel! Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O Daughter of Jerusalem! The LORD has taken away your punishment; he has turned back your enemy. The LORD the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm. On that day they will say to Jerusalem, Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp. The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

You can see the heart of our Father toward Israel. He longs to show her his love. Israel again is in the heart of a battle. Nations continue to rise up against her. Let us stand with her during this time. Pray for her deliverance and please pray that we as a nation will not cease to support her.

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem!

I would like to share this link to a Hillsong video.







Our God is Mighty to Save!